*I started working on this three days ago but took me 48+ hours to finish writing (hello, life). Nonetheless, I am still pregnant as I’m posting this. LOL*
There are many thoughts running through my head these days as I’m preparing to close a chapter of my life and opening a new one. I am about to enter the last 7 days of this pregnancy (of course, could be shorter or longer…you never know) and it’s honestly surreal.
Before I start rambling about my reflections of my first pregnancy, let me give you a quick rundown of what you may expect as you enter the last 5-6 weeks of your pregnancy.
Sleeping does get more uncomfortable. I ended up kicking myself out of the bedroom around 37 weeks and migrated to the living room. I interchangeably use the recliner as well the very big couch that we have, depending on how I feel each night. For me, I needed better back support despite the pillow fort I was building in the bedroom. Sleeping on the couch helps because it prevents you from rolling on your back.
Walking turns into waddling…for some people. I turned out to be one of those people who waddle hardcore. By 36-37 weeks, the baby’s head has been surely facing downward (which is good), and she really started pushing down the pelvis these last couple of weeks. That makes walking… pretty uncomfortable. I laughed when my doctor joyfully yelled: “you are waddling!” as if she was anxiously waiting for it to happen. Embrace the waddling, ladies. It’s not you get to do this your entire lifetime. (Also, ‘lightening crotch’ is real.)
Easier breathing but more fatigue… As the baby drops, I’ve noticed that I am able to breathe a little easier even though I would still be out of breath (obviously) much faster. At least it doesn’t sound like I’m running a sprint when I’m simply talking to a student over the phone. The fatigue does set in more easily, though. I am back to taking my evening nap after coming home from work. That means late dinner, but at least I feel more energized. Give yourself permission to relax.
I am truly surprised how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. Perhaps, I could partially credit to the busyness at work – apparently, me planning to be gone for 12 weeks sets in all sorts of anxieties among coworkers. There have been a lot of meetings and preparations for the last few months to prepare for my maternity leave.
I know there is still the labor and delivery to look forward to as well as any postpartum symptoms I may experience, but for now, I am counting my blessings for the pretty smooth first-time pregnancy I was able to experience so far. Sure, pregnancy absolutely brings surprising physical changes and the discomfort they bring, but I’ve been able to maintain my lifestyle for the most part. After all, I attended a wedding just this past Sunday; exactly a week away from my due date. Let’s just say it was priceless to see other guests’ expression whenever they asked me about the due date. I bet everyone was waiting for me to go on labor during the ceremony. I also danced solidly for about 45 minutes during the reception. My body may or may not have felt that the next day.
By now, I thought I would be more worried about pending motherhood. Of course, I am a little anxious about how I would be as a mom (who isn’t) and hoping that the baby will grow up to be happy and healthy – I’m sure those thoughts won’t end in just one day. I also sometimes worry if my maternal instinct will kick in naturally – after all, I wasn’t obsessing over baby’s every developments or movement so some people thought I wasn’t too thrilled about being pregnant (PSA: Just because you don’t talk about pregnancy 24/7 doesn’t mean you are not excited about being pregnant. People need to chill). I’m still not obsessing over the ‘waiting game’ either, but I am beginning to get more excited about meeting the baby girl in person soon.
Not that I want to end with a bunch of unsolicited advice to all you first-time expectant mothers out there, but here are some of my final reflections on pregnancy:
Be kind to yourself, both physically and emotionally. You will go through a lot of changes and sometimes that might make you hate the way you look or feel. Trust me, there were days when I felt so unattractive as a woman. In the beginning, I used to be critical of my weight gain and didn’t want to look “fat.” It was hard not being able to wear my usual size xs tops or size 26 jeans. Once I was able to let go of that burden that I created for myself, I felt more free and happy to go through this phase.
It’s ok to not get everything done. I can be very Type A when it comes to day-to-day things. I like my house cleaned; bed always has to be made every morning; I must get through all my checklist each day. But guess what, there are some days when I just simply couldn’t. My body was too tired, and that meant taking an evening nap before making dinner or a bed not perfectly made in the morning. Honestly, the timeline to finish the nursery was pushed back every week. It’s all really ok, though. So what if the nursery is not completely done – would the baby ever know that? Life, in many ways, is constantly work-in-progress. It’s ok to be content with progress over completion.
Embrace being pregnant. It sounds so cliche, but I was truly amazed by what my body could do. The thought of growing a life inside me was freaky (probably not the right term to use, but honestly, it felt weird sometimes) and mesmerizing at the same time. Sure, you might end up with some stretch marks (I, unfortunately, got some in these last few weeks) at the end, but it’s an evidence of the amazing production that your body went through.
Prenatal massage! Enough said. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
Enjoy the journey! Ok, maybe this is a repeat of “embrace being pregnant,” but in my head, it’s meant differently. Once I got through the paranoia stage, aka first trimester, I was determined to just enjoy this uncharted territory (and here I am, usually hating any kind of surprise). Yes, pregnancy certainly affects the expecting mothers far more dramatically than the expecting fathers who may feel like are on the sideline. We made every effort to shop things together, to go on dates, and talk about how this journey affected us because I wanted to make sure that Z is part of this with me. The thing is, we are both nervous – we don’t know what the future holds; we don’t know how much we will disagree with each other on parenting styles; we simply don’t know what to expect in the years to come. All we know is that we have started this new edition, like a fresh book of empty pages that will be filled with new stories created by us. I am excited to share those new stories with all of you.
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