Wowza...can I get a little shoutout for surviving a whole year of pandemic?! I felt a little anxious entering March knowing this anniversary came around the corner. How am I supposed to react - celebrating because I survived or mourning for the utter devastation that this pandemic has brought upon our world? I don't want to get political here, but 555,000+ deaths in one year to a single virus (for one country) is an unimaginable number, and the "only 1% of infected actually die" statement I see all the time is such a heartless reaction of our humanity. I admit that I have gone through a wave of survivor's guilt, and then a sense of undeniable privilege that I have that so many others don't have. I will be forever thankful for the continuing health of our families and friends but also think of the ones that were severely impacted by this pandemic mentally, physically, and financially. The fact that none of those were ever of our daily concerns is a true testament to our privileged life. Honestly, though, if you asked me how I survived a full year of pandemic, I wouldn't remember much of the details. It felt like I just let the year go by.
1 Year Pandemic Anniversary Reflection
[At 9 months old when the pandemic started, there was a lot of babywearing during meetings]
If we must find some silver lining to this awful, entirely crappy year, is that it has provided the closeness with my daughter that I didn't think I would get to have. You see, I had come to terms early on that I would be missing out on a lot of Zoe's "firsts" as someone working outside of the home. Never did I imagine that I would get to be the first one to witness everything - from crawling, pulling up, saying her first word, walking, pointing at things, following my directions, etc. Yes, there were certainly countless moments where I was burst into tears or at rage mode (heightened by my beloved furbabies constantly barking) because I was so tired of trying to balance the mom role vs. work expectations no matter how much grace was given to me. But my goodness, what a joy to witness all those firsts with my own eyes. It was an unexpected gift that this pandemic had thrust upon me. The world was declared with a pandemic just when she turned 9 months old, and she is now 22 months old. Her needs and daily schedule evolved many times during this long period, and while there were many moments of challenges, I am so grateful to be able to spend time with her every day.
Picture Day
I almost died when I got the proofs back from her daycare's picture day - isn't she adorable?! Kudos to the photographer for being able to keep this squirmy toddler stay posed. Originally, I sent her wearing Hanbok because I thought that would be a cute way to show off her heritage. Unfortunately, that day was unexpectedly canceled and was rescheduled when we arrived at daycare that day. And since toddlers, don't know how to keep their clothes clean (ever), I sent her with a different outfit the next day.
[Left: the intended outfit; Right: the actual outfit for the picture day]
Our First Travel
Ironically, as we greeted the 1 year of the pandemic, we went on our first air travel. I'd like to clarify that this was travel was not a leisurely purpose but more of an essential to our family. Without having to share too much information, these several back-to-back travels will help us determine our next stage of life as a family.
9 months old vs. 21 months old
First of all, I have so many feelings about this travel. The last time we traveled was almost exactly a year ago to Cancun when Zoe had just turned 9 months. Let me tell you, traveling with a 9-month-old toddler and a 21-month-old toddler is a different level of the game!! I'm sure some of it had to do with the fact that I had completely forgotten how to pack so there was so much overpacking and stress happening a couple of nights leading up to this travel, but it turns out the need for a baby and a toddler is completely different.
What Zoe needed a year ago was lots of bottles, breastmilk, and formula - whereas this time was all about snack, snack, snack...and entertainment. I was warned by other mom friends that tons of snack and screen time was going to be the best bet and keeping her still on a plane ride and they were so right. I certainly attempted to avoid too much screen time and brought books, stickers, and little toys that she can play with, but she was absolutely too distracted (and hyperactive) by her surroundings to stay focused. I'll try to write a separate post about my experience flying with Zoe for those that may be thinking about traveling soon.
A Change of Scenery
While ideally, we would have liked to travel when there were more completed vaccinations around the country, it was a necessary trip that we needed to take as it had to do with our future life decisions.
We traveled to the east coast and stayed there for 4 nights. I had a lot of good quality time with Zoe while Z was getting some business done. Since we couldn't enforce our usual routines, Zoe experienced a lot of freedom with what she eats (all the fries), which I am sure was the highlight of her life. We struggled with naps and getting her to sleep in at a fashionable time, so there was a lot of nap-on-the-go and co-sleeping with us. Thankfully, she didn't mind sleeping in her crib once we returned home because we were both suffering from her violent sleep tendencies.
Even though little time was actually spent on the coastline since we had busy schedules while there, watching the sunrise on the horizon and feeling the gusty ocean weather was so refreshing for our souls. It offered a small closure to the awful year we endured.
Vaccination
This brings to the most exciting news of March - I got vaccinated! I know social media get so much crap about its toxicity to social interaction, but I also believe this is the power of social media. When Texas decided to open up eligibility to all adults, I had the hardest time finding an appointment despite staying up late most of the nights searching. I found a Facebook group where Houston residents and volunteers were crowdsourcing open vaccination appointments, which is how I found a spot for myself rather quickly. I got the Johnson & Johnson vaccine and did have some side effects (body ache, chills, extreme tiredness, and sore arm) for about 36 hours but managed it with ibuprofen.
It also brings me great joy that I was able to schedule appointments for my parents as well! They have each received the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine and will get their 2nd one 3 weeks later. The only person left is my brother, who just became eligible as New York opened up to all adults not too while ago. But again, there is a Facebook group for that state with amazing volunteers that are helping me and others find appointments. I am truly grateful for science and the amazing individuals who are volunteering their time to help people get vaccinated. It does feel like there is a glimmering light at the end of a long tunnel.
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