I can’t believe we are already 6 days into the year 2019! Today officially marks week 19 of my pregnancy (who’s counting?), and I am slowly getting out of the surreal feeling that kept me numb for a while. Quite honestly, despite seeing the baby on the ultrasound and getting to hear the heartbeat early on, it still never felt real. I was going through all the typical motion of a pregnancy – the morning sickness and tiredness of the 1st trimester, the (start of) growing belly in the 2nd trimester (and getting my energy back!) – I wasn’t really sure how I was processing my emotions, though. Trust me, it doesn’t mean that I am not excited about this baby. I certainly AM excited and have begun allowing myself to dream about the nursery, how the baby would look like, what to name him/her, and etc. I do have a tendency to keep any excitements in check; it seems like my cautious/somewhat pessimistic(?) mentality carried over to this pregnancy. I will say that I was a ball of anxious nerves during the first 11-12 weeks or so of the pregnancy. I was reading up on way too many ‘what if’ scenarios on the internet and recalling of friends and colleagues I knew of that went through traumatic/sad endings of their own pregnancies thinking that something like that would happen to me. Perhaps my behavior is normal of a typical first-time pregnant woman, but it certainly isn’t a healthy mental journey to carry on.
Maybe knowing that I have reached the 2nd trimester gave me some comfort or it could have been that I essentially talked to myself for a long period of time one night to finally get over myself and prepare to accept whatever is awaiting me in this journey…I am finally at a really happy and excited mental state. I am allowing myself to enjoy this adventure and witness my changing body.
Speaking of changing body, I think I’m reaching a point where an oversized sweater isn’t going to completely hide my belly. The experienced mothers at my work (who are not on social media) have started noticing my not so typical frame that they are used to seeing me…haha. I did make the official Facebook announcement on our 6 year wedding anniversary (12/28) and was so surprised by the number of pure excitement and happiness for us. I also didn’t know so many people were eagerly waiting for me to get pregnant all these years! LOL All the congratulations are truly appreciated.
The pictures below were taken during week 17 (left) and week 18 (right, last week). Oh, and as you can see, I finally bought a couple of maternity jeans. They are so comfortable!!! I don’t know how women go back to their normal jeans after this. I did have a hard time finding jeans that fit my rather short/petite frame, but thankfully I found some after shopping with Z at Motherhood Maternity. I am currently in love with the Paige skinny maternity jeans (pictured right); it is worth every penny. I am trying to avoid spending too much money on maternity wardrobes so we’ll see how long I could hold off using the abundant possession of tunic tops, leggings, and dresses in my closet.
It’s funny how a pregnancy starts urging a couple to do things they meant to do all these years. Since Z and I are quite the homebodies, compounded with Z’s neverending residency commitments, we never explored much of what St. Louis has to offer even when we were aware. This year, we finally got to go see the Garden Glow at the Missouri Botanical Garden. It is one local’s favorite holiday activities and I could see why. We enjoyed the beautiful light shows. I have a feeling we are going to try to squeeze in a lot of things we didn’t get to see in St. Louis and the surrounding areas before we are consumed by sleepless nights and diaper changing marathon (and many more, I’m sure) in the summer.
Since Z had to work during Christmas (one of my schedule adjustments he is making in order to be more available for our baby’s arrival in June), we decided to do an impromptu road trip for New Year’s to Columbus, Ohio, where a close family friend of mine lives. Youkyung, my family friend, is an older sister that I never had. She is 10 years older than me, but she knew me since I was a baby and would come to hang out with me after school in Korea. She’s now a professor at the Ohio State University. Surprinslgy, after living in the midwest for 4 ½ years, this was our first time making the trip to Ohio.
A couple of exciting developments in the coming days:
1) We find out the sex of our baby on Tuesday!
2) My maternity body pillow (?, don’t know what it’s called) arrives on Tuesday as well. I have always been back sleeper but lately been practicing sleeping on my side. It has been a huge struggle so I’m hoping that the body pillow will give me more support I need in order to sleep better.
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! ❤
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